It seems clear that McCain is trying to win by appealing to disillusioned Hillary supporters by choosing Palin. But her glaring lack of experience really opens the door to other possible candidates with no political experience at all who would have probably been a better choice.

1. Chuck Norris

Norris would cap off that redneck vote that McCain already has in the bag but he also appeals to countless nerds and geeks for his toughness. Norris has also proven his willingness to take on terrorists in his films. And should McCain not be in good health to make it through the entire term, Norris is in great shape thanks to the Total Gym.


2. Kim Kardashian

If you saw my previous post, you’d see that I believe that McCain just wants to hit it. I think he picked her because she’s one of the few if not only MILF governors or Senators. If that’s the case, he might as well pick someone hotter and younger. Choosing Kim Kardashian would accomplish that. This would draw in that tabloid vote that is outside the demographic that he already has sewn up. However, choosing an Armenian girl would improve relations with Russia and prevent him from declaring war on them.

3. Will Smith

Will Smith is a huge summer tent pole regardless of what he’s doing. There’s no reason to believe that in November he wouldn’t still retain some supporters. He would bring in black voters as well as more white voters because he has that elusive ‘black without scaring white folks’ quality. He has proven time and again that he is willing to defend this country against all enemies, foreign, domestic and extraterrestrial.

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4. Ruby Rhod

Ruby Rhod would have drawn in not only black voters but gay voters as well. He’s outspoken and would reach the hip-hop community with his personality. I doubt Joe Biden would know what to do in the debates if he had to go up against Ruby Rhod. In my opinion, Chris Tucker should have never stopped being Ruby Rhod even after they stopped filming the Fifth Element.

5. George Takei

If McCain wanted to sew up the Asian and gay vote in one fell swoop he should have picked George Takei. Takei has a great speaking voice. Plus he has military experience as he’s served on the Enterprise until he was given his own command. Since he hid his sexuality for so long we know he can keep state secrets.

6. Amy Winehouse

While she wasn’t born in the United States, neither was McCain. This train wreck of a woman wouldn’t appeal to anyone except the people from She would bring in the drug crowd and PUMAs. We’d see an increase in Pharmaceutical Lobbyists. More people vote for American Idol than in the election. So these folks could get McCain into the white house and once there, he could replace her with whomever he wanted after she kicks it, unless he kicks it first..

Edit: I was considering putting Rachel Ray on this list, but she’s clearly a terrorist.